The Paper Museum of Ezekiel Damme

Exhibit 00000010

2009-02-02T05:47:00.000-08:00

ILLUSTRATION FROM MAGGIE BLACK'S TRANSLATION of THE MEDIEVAL COOKBOOK
Depicts the punishment of a baker who had defied the strict 'bread regulations' of the 13th century (weight, price, recipe) and was therefore dragged through the street on a sled with the offending bread tied around his neck. A form of castigation that perhaps should be considered for the banking industry of the early 21st century. Except, substitute 'sled' for 'posteriors' and 'offending bread' for '*Central Australian Fierce Snakes'. *number 1 most venomous snake in the world, excluding American Heath Insurance Executives.

Exhibit 00000009

2009-01-26T09:41:00.000-08:00

17TH CENTURY BEZOAR IN GOLD FILIGREE CASING

A bezoar is a ball of swallowed foreign material (usually hair or fiber, but sometimes grit and stone) that collects in the stomach and fails to pass through the intestines. Mostly found in ruminating animals, those with glossy hair and a frivolous sense of rhythm. The Natural assumption, centuries ago, was that this would make them the perfect antidote to poison. Obviously. The word itself meant counter-poison or antidote in Persian. The gullible and affluent would purchase them at exorbitant prices to rub on infected areas or even ingest. Making them Bidigested matter. A Bezoar stone, such as this one, when placed in a beverage was thought to *purify it of poison and infections. *No refunds or exchanges available at any time.

Exhibit 00000008

2009-01-16T10:25:00.000-08:00

MARABU UND MASKEN (1915), COURTING (1914), RICHARD MULLER
Richard Müller 1874-1954, was such an astonishingly accomplished young draughtsperson that he attained a place in the Dresden Academy at the age of 16, and was a superlative etcher by the age of 21 but then gave it up for the last 30 years of his life and remained relatively unknown until 1974, 20 years after his death which evens it all out somewhat. Appears to have entertained an unnatural fetish for long-legged birds.

Exhibit 00000007a/b

2009-01-14T23:20:00.000-08:00

SIMPLE MICROSCOPE, 1680, PARIS
Manufactured by Depovilly from the famous design of 'father of microbiology': Antonij Van Leeuwenhoek. During his lifetime this gauchely over-achieving Dutchman ground 500 optical lenses, designed 400 types of microscope, discovered infusoria, bacteria, spermatazoa, single-celled organisms, was accepted into the English Royal Society, ran a drapery store, and presumably saved children and animals from drowning on a regular basis. Rumours that he was in possession of a remarkably small member are unsubstantiated.

Exhibit 00000006

2009-01-10T18:02:00.000-08:00

18TH CENTURY ANATOMICAL BOWL MADE IN CHINA AND THOUGHT TO HAVE BEEN DECORATED IN HOLLAND. The detail image to the left is most probably the heart, or lung, or reproductive organs, or bagpipes, or a kebab.

Exhibit 00000005a/b

2009-01-10T11:27:00.000-08:00

PAINTED BY THE NEPALESE TANGKA ARTIST ROMIO SHRESTHA AND HIS STUDENTS IN KATHMANDU OVER 7 YEARS IN THE LATE 1980S, EARLY 1990S FROM ORIGINALS PAINTED BETWEEN 1687 AND 1703 DURING THE RULE OF THE FIFTH DALAI LAMA, TO ILLUSTRATE THE TANTRAS, THE WRITTEN FORM OF TRADITIONAL TIBETAN MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE. (The first image shows urinalysis, pathological signs and demonic possession, the 2nd shows Causes of disease...and apparently the anatomy of a clown, although with flowers removed from forearm compartment and length of feet drastically reduced to fit on paper)

Exhibit 00000004

2008-12-22T19:25:00.000-08:00

BOXWOOD ROSARY BEAD, BRABANT, EARLY 16TH CENTURY
At 5.2cm diameter, this tiny carved depiction of no less than 7 scenes from the Christian Religion's Bible, was considerably lighter and more portable than the leather-bound versions of the book in the South Lowlands at the time and definitely easier to fit into a leather catapult to fire at the damned heads of heretics and heathens. This beadling, as it was termed, was enthusiastically taken up by minor parish officials and is the origin of their title 'Beadle', possibly
With thanks and plaudits to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Exhibit 00000003a/b/c

2008-12-21T16:23:00.000-08:00

DAVID BUSHNELL'S TURTLE SUBMARINE, CIRCA 1776
During the American Revolution David Bushnell, former Yale student, triumphed where others had failed, in designing and constructing a submarine vessel capable of attack. Sergeant Ezra Lee succeeded in damaging precisely none of the occupying British ships with Bushnell's turtle (dismorphically misnamed; had he never seen the diving walnuts of Bolivia?), but no doubt had very well-developed thigh muscles and a profound earache upon reemerging.
ROBERT FULTON'S NAUTILUS, CIRCA 1800
Proving that all great military submarine advancements were down to a deep-seated hatred of the British, patriotic Irishman Robert Fulton offered his 3-man submarine design to the French in 1800, who promptly rejected it saying it was only fit for 'Algerians and pirates', presumably 'with only two friends'. Proving that all inventors are as patriotic as they are sane-looking Fulton went and sold it to the British, who were most excited until they discovered it was left-hand drive.

Exhibit 00000002b

2008-12-20T16:07:00.001-08:00

19th CENTURY RECONSTRUCTION OF WORLD MAP ACCORDING TO THE WRITTEN GEOGRAPHY OF GREEK SCHOLAR, STRABO (18 A.D.)
None of Strabo's original maps have survived but from his writings it is possible to reconstruct his geographical and cartographic knowledge, which, he believed, was best displayed on a 10ft globe and was basically near-identical to an upended image of his Great Uncle Zosimo III, Parrot Man of Despotiko.

Exhibit 00000002a

2008-12-20T15:37:00.000-08:00

WORLD MAP FROM PTOLEMY, GEOGRAPHIA. FREIBURG: JOANNES SCHOTT, 1503
Allegedly the first appearance of a pair of spectacles on a map (North-East Wind). Also renowned for being the first instance of Ron Moody playing Fagin disguised as the West Wind, the role he would later reprise in the cinematic musical.
Thanks and Malt Loaf to James Ford Bell Library, University of Minnesota

Exhibit 00000001a

2008-12-19T18:49:00.000-08:00

AN AFRICAN CIVET. I BELIEVE HIS NAME WAS HORACE.
-Vincenzo Leonardi, 1600-1660, Italy. Perhaps the same Leonardi who manufactured curd from the milk of domestic cats, to be worn under the wig as a remedy for stuttering and the Droop. Perhaps not.-

Welcome Visitors

2008-12-19T14:33:00.000-08:00

Good Afternoon and Welcome. I have, of late, been neglectful in my duties of taxonomy and cataloguing and, therefore, find myself diluviated with artifacts and resplendently tardy with the introduction of my first exhibit. To follow.